We dance and for a second she forgets and feels free.

I see the beauty in her, breathe

before a rooted thought of wrong doing enters

and she kneels down,

blindly searching for the chain to shackle herself

back into the cage.

For she loves the ones who created the walls

and she hasn’t the strength to break those down,

not when it means destroying all she knows.

I watch her sit there and hum so sweetly,

changing tears to a tune,

distracting herself with so many other things

which fills her time and her space,

but there’s no stopping the racing of a heart,

it’s a magic science, a crazy chemistry,

which bolts thunder claps from the brain to the belly,

that moves the body quicker than lightning.

And the mind blinded,

cannot keep up with the heart of the body.

Flash!

Her body moves with another of the same form,

like an ocean with the shore, over and over,

it soothes as it moves.

The light is followed with a BANG!

The cell door clatters open and slams shut with a bewildered wind,

as she remembers that all she feels is not allowed

and retreats out of a cherished love for those who fail to understand.

The wind does not strike her;

it is not angry, but gentle and warm.

It cradles her when she’s sad

and lifts her high when she’s feeling blue,

it does not control her with fear,

but with comfort and love.

It tickles her and makes her smile,

all the time misunderstanding the black shape,

which moves on the floor.

The wind wishes to blow it away,

using bigger and bigger puffs,

and afterwards is left exhausted.

The black mark is unfathomable to the wind.

”It’s still there, that dirty black mark

which follows you around.

Why can’t you leave her be?” It howls.

And she cries out with a muted voice,

which echoes the temples of distant lands.

“It is a part of me!”

The wind howls again, anguished and sad,

blowing the words spoken away,

unable to hear them through distortions of pain.

It picks itself up for another gust and another,

“Why won’t it leave? The place will look so much cleaner

without that black mark which keeps following you around.”

It blows unrelenting,

like a house proud mother

wiping at a stubborn wooden tabletop stain,

unknowing that it is a knot, a natural pattern of the wood.

“Please, let it be. It is a part of me.”

whispers the wood and the woman.

The wind slowly stops dancing and becomes heavy,

which sinks her radiant smile and twinkling star eyes

to black holes.

I see the blindness of the wind, blowing at the black mark,

with more gust and enthusiasm,

seeing improvement and progress,

as the mark moves away, by the power the wind possesses,

or so it thinks.

Ony the wind does not realize,

that it is her beloved that blows into a ball,

over and over, tied in knots, until she cannot breathe.

The wind does not see the position she is in.

It does not see the vases knocked over

and smashed to smithereens,

like salt bubbles that explode from her eyes

when she loses control and snivel sniff cries,

“I don’t want to be so sensitive to this,

but it scares me so much to be cold

and unaffected by it all.

When I think of homophobia,

I think of bullies spitting comments in a crowd

or on a street,

of hate crimes and terrible things like these.

I never in my wildest dreams

thought it could be like this.”

Flowers lay unnoticed on the broken glass ground,

trodden on by all those others who don’t look down.

(and jeez, there are many, too many for there to be more)

Hold up ~

For all the guns in the world,

that ends a life with less than a thought,

could we not shoot each other a smile from time to time

and try,

just try to get along, it is after all only love.

The rest doesn’t really matter,

it is only love that connects us all,

that gets us through~

Thank you, now back to the poem…

As the wind blows unstoppable at her shadow,

wishing for it to not be there,

she stands up strong and bold

through the blinding, deafening gale.

She does not move an inch by the gust,

as her hair, wild like flames lick up to heaven, around her.

The heart does not choose who it races, falls or breaks for,

nor does the arms of love choose who it chases, catches or crushes.

When eyes connect, they speak languages unknown,

never spoken before

from the beginning of time to now,

so much is said and expressed without a word uttered,

and it unfolds in another reality in the flash of a second.

The feeling ignited, may blaze, or it may smoulder,

but it can never be forgotten.

She stands through the gale, lifts her head high

and says, “My shadow exists because I have found light,

for it to disappear I shall live in darkness,

and like the bird set free from its cage,

it cannot return, once it knows what it has learnt.”

The thing which she needs now more than ever,

is not shelter from the wind,

but for the wind to blow down the walls

it has created over time,

and hold her in acceptance,

for no one knows more than the wind,

how wonderful and important it is

to be free from all these things,

to feel free to dance peacefully.

Kagome L Dirksmeyer

This is a letter to the guys who raped me!

This a letter to the guys who raped me and left me for dead All those years ago


You guys grab me beat me and Rape me. On the way home from school one day.You left me for dead laying in a back yard cover in blood and dirt limp like a rag doll. You knocked my teeth out because I tried to fight back! I woke up in the ICU ward at the hospital. I could not move and hearing my mother crying and upset I could not speak to cry and reach out. You got me pregnant.You ruined my life. I never grew up a normal child like the other 12 yrs and teenagers should. Nothing has changed today in my life! I Live in fear being touched and I wear the scars on my soul and will live with them all my life. I am broken and damaged goods. I live life of loneness and hurt and fear, can`t be in a stable relationships unable to love and feel someone warm gentle touch. When something like sex i should be enjoying like any woman should? I feel pain thinking the rape is happening again. When people find out what happen me they stay away and don`t want to be friends! or act like I have some diseased animal You taken my happiness and dreams and replaced them with PTSD and You guys are happy and enjoying your life to fullest and probably forgot what you did to me? You never been caught by the police.I can close my eyes and still see your faces and I hear the dirty names. You Dirty Japanese whore. You love Fucky Sucky all your kind do you bitch! ETC! Every time I see a woman get hit or see a movie which a woman is attacked and Raped I start to relive the attack all over again Me or no Girl/Woman don`t stand up and jumped up and down and beg for this to happen to them.You think you have power over women You also destroyed my mother life too! She lives with the worry everyday and everytime the phone rings when I am gone. She worries and afraid that she might get that call from the police that I may try something one day to take my life. I am not going to let you have that satisfaction I am going to beat this and hope to see you punished for what you did me and maybe to others? I hope that fate will pay you back for what you done? And I hope your proud of yourself for what you done and if it made you both a real men? Its been many years and its another anniversary of your attack

How Do you Sleep at night? Thanks for putting my life into hell!

Loneness Empty Places keep me from heading somewhere else! Remove me from the dark and give me back which I have lost.

To those who read this. I am sorry I have upset you or shocked you in anyway? I could not hold it in any longer it was killing me inside. I had to let go! If You don`t want to follow me anymore I understand! The song will remain the same like a broken record.
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